Tesco

I should be really horrified by this, but I can't help but feeling smug and pleased with myself.

After a few pints (I know, I'm eventually going to cut them out.... eventually) I walked home with a friend and decided to pop into the Tesco across the street--it's not a big problem normally because I loathe the whole Tesco corporation--and pick up something I really didn't need, and my stomach REALLY didn't need.

The automatic doors won't open. I think to myself, "Shit, it's almost 11 and they're closing up." Then I think, "Shit, it's not quite 11 they shouldn't lock me out when it's still technically open!" So I start knocking on the window. I get the brilliant idea to wait for a customer to walk out and then I'll dash in and grab that *thing* I didn't need. So I made a break for it, and apparently let in a couple who followed my lead as well.

So I grab this thing and am ready to go queue up, when this ridiculous completely uneducated man-boy says to the couple (who aren't nearly as fast as me, and still at the door) "No no, we're closed."

They look crushed and ask, "But we can't even get milk?"
"No" is his reply.
Then they kind of gesture toward me, and he looks and sees me and my thing in hand and says "No no we're closed."

And I, feeling brazen and full of Dutch Courage, show him my cellphone and say, "It's 10:58. You aren't closed. I'm buying this." And I walk to the queue. He says the same thing again but I don't budge and then the couple went and grabbed their milk and broccoli (at least someone was eating veggies in this story!).

So after waiting for this ridiculous man who was buying a cart full of groceries (UH, this is a Tesco "Express" who does full shopping at the chain-version of a corner store?!), I throw down ₤1.50 and say "Keep the change."

During the previous incredible wait, I did manage to have a lovely conversation with the broccoli woman next to me, who then decided to make her guy (who was on crutches) go an grab the thing that I just got. I'm so influential.

So I should feel horrible that I got completely rude in order to satisfy my bulging tummy, but I'm not. And you shouldn't either.

The moral of the story is... always do something that makes you a stronger person, even if your figure doesn't agree.

I'm watching "Notting Hill" because I was there today...

... the movie isn't terribly good. But I don't have high expectations for either Hugh Grant or Julia Roberts, both of whom I find terribly terrible. But "Notting Hill" the place is lovely, while simultaneously reminding me of my poverty and impending doom.

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I can't tell if this makes me hungry or revolted, but I suppose the moral of the story is I would probably be thinner if it was 1974.

Today I'm going to keep my eating habits a secret, as I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. I might have already done it just in this last sentence. eeee!

The only thing I will tell you is I can't fit into my teeny tiny ultra skinny jeans anymore. Size 6 or even size 8. Lord, I can probably barely manage a size 10 these days... but in my defense I like my skin-tight jeans to be ironically comfortable.

In other news, cheers to skirts that cover up wobbly bits and swishing thighs.

With all my heart,
Savory Sweet

P.S. I'm going to list off every British phrase/word that I've started to pick up in my every day language: "cheers" "can't be bothered" "brilliant" "mates" "tosser" "rubbish" "the bin" "queue" "fair enough" "wellies" "trousers" "jumper" "crap (as in 'these are crap directions')" "gorgeous (as in the way good food tastes...)" "sweetie" "lads" "slag" "chips" "crisps" "cheap and cheerful" "clever" "gobsmacked" "tuck in" "knackered" "mental" "tanked" "wanker" "nosh"

I have never been able to say "bloody" without sounding like an idiot. Yes, I sometimes practice aloud at home. Don't pretend you haven't ever thought about wearing one of those stupid bluetooth headpieces so you could talk to yourself without looking "mental." Whatever mates, I can't be bothered. Fairenoughcheersthnxbi.

"Resolve to Dissolve"

Does anyone else still wonder what happened to Jenna? I still worry about her.

A mop of hair

This is a manifestation of what I can only think to describe as a "food hangover." Note the distress and lethargy.

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2 more things and then I'll get out of your hair.

1) I just started reading Cinderella's blog and I'm her only follower! She's got a few archived posts so it'll be a good read. I suggest you check out her site. She's very articulate and no one should struggle alone.

2) Question for you to debate in the comments section: Eating Disorders as we know them now were first documented during the Industrial Age and have become worse ever since, affecting people in 1st and 3rd world countries. As we know the disease isn't just about the media infestation of thin and pretty in our everyday lives, what are contributing factors that progress eating disorders around the globe today?

too much sleep and too little sleep.

uuuugh. Today I'm a slug. It's finally caught up to me. The starvation and lack of sleep.

The monster is unleashed!

That's being relatively over-dramatic. My stomach, however, is quite distended and would argue with that statement. Here's me again thinking I could grocery shop and pick up a nice little lunch. Nope. I eat the lunch. Then I eat what I had planned for dinner. Then I eat a box of biscuits and bag of Percy Piglets I was going to send over to TR. There was a cream soda somewhere in there too. At least, I think so because there's an empty can next to my bed.

This past week has been one of the most productive, but ludicrously insane, weeks of my life. I averaged about 3 hours of sleep every night. It wasn't even forcing myself to wake up, I'd go to sleep at midnight and open my eyes at 3AM.

Then I started my task. Two tasks actually. One being the obvious, taking advantage of this energy source and doing some work. Two being a marathon of horror films that seems to be never-ending. I freak out relatively easily. Well, at least I used to. I haven't yet seen something that makes me afraid of sleeping facing toward the wall (everyone knows that's when someone sneaks up on you!). Maybe I've just become completely numb.

Anyway, the lack of sleep was great except I was always yawning, disinterested in other people (more than usual, I guess), and at 2PM every day I thought I would fall asleep no matter where I happened to be. I would also get really nauseated and start gagging every now and again. Kept a reserve of crackers for that. Weird.

It didn't really bother me so much until I became noticeably irritable, withdrawn, and... well started hallucinating. Nothing exciting, for better or for worse, and I wouldn't even have known I was hallucinating were it not for a psychology class I'd taken years ago.

I kept seeing spiders crawling up the wall. After I realized this was not actually happening, I realized I don't think I've ever seen a spider here.

This post doesn't really have any purpose except to let you all know I'm alive and functioning, at a snail's pace.

Over and out.

Loads Of Liquids Day 1

Alright kiddos, here's how it's going to work.

Because I hate my kitchen, there's no way I can rely on keeping anything in there. So boxed juice it is!!

I'm going to cut the juice as much as possible, and I've got diet 7Up to mix with it now and then to spice things up. For every cup of juice I drink, I'm going to drink a cup of tea before I can have more juice.

I usually get cravings for savory things and sweet things. Juice for sweet. And I've figured out how I can have more juice for savory!

Tomato juice. Some hot sauce and pepper and I've got juice soup.

Tonight I'm taking some laxatives just to cleanse out my system and I'll think about taking a daily diuretic just to counter-act fluid retention. No abusing pills.

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I also took pictures of myself in those hideous leggings. Not very good at the whole "before" and "after" thing so we'll see if there's noticeable results.

Buuuuut because I hate myself (preaching to the choir?) I'm not ready to show you... so here's my lower legs and feet!

Loads of Liquid 'til We're Light!

I'm liquid fasting. I've only ever done a water fast before, so this will be a new and different adventure.

I've just thrown allllll my food away in the trash. Emptied my cabinets. Everything is garbage. For safety, I'll keep my emergency baby food jars just in case.

So I'm about to put on a hat and sweatpants to walk over to Tesco and the corner store to pick up loads and loads of liquids.

It's Loads of Liquid 'til We're Light! People. Anyone who wants to join me should :)

Here are the rules:
You can consume *anything* you choose as long as it is liquidy enough to be drank from a straw out of the box (that means no sneaky cheating with milk shakes or something... juicing is ok though).
You HAVE to write down everything that's gone into your mouth. Keep a tally of calories.
Weigh yourself no more than once per day.

Additional Rules I'm setting for myself:
If you begin to feel sick or nauseated, you can slowly chew on a cream cracker or saltine. That's the only reason to break the fast.
Do something productive every single day, even if it's little, and keep track of this as well.
Alcohol is forbidden. This is a cleansing detox.
Unless you're going out to buy more liquids, leave your wallet at home to keep yourself out of temptation's way. If you feel it is absolutely necessary to have some money, put a few small bills on your person for emergencies.

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OK people. Wish me luck.

With Liquid Love,
Savory