I feel like crying because I know I'm not thinking rationally.
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So last night everyone was at the Beer Garden, and we all came to the mutual conclusion that it was way too warm outside to order any hot food. That left salads (HOORAY!). I then made the comment, "Does anyone else lose their appetite in the heat? I think I'll just order small green salad..." One of my dumb friends then pipes up about how its important to eat *more* when it's hot (something I don't think I've ever heard) and orders a Taco Salad FOR me. I manage to blurt out that I at least want it with dressing on the side and without chicken.
I was really proud at how amazingly I was able to avoid every single piece of tortilla chip, cheese cube, sunflower seed, and black bean. And the avocado sat in the corner untouched. So I literally just ate a giant plate of lettuce, cabbage, and cucumber/carrot. I allowed myself some corn. Drank tons of water. Then one of my friends ate what I didn't eat (I swear she just lives off other people's left overs). So no one had time to scrutinize what I didn't eat. We went for frozen yogurt but I told everyone I didn't have any cash so I didn't get anything. Mwahaha.
It was supposed to be a 400 cal day yesterday and I figured I couldn't have had more than 100 calories of salad and that was the only thing I ate, plus I walked for an hour, and did an hour of pilates. So I was feeling really good.
This morning I gained .4lbs! I know I know it's probably just retained water weight because I drank so much yesterday and it's so hot... but I am so upset. It bothers me that I can't even be rational about this.
I bought bananas (which I normally don't eat), grapefruit, strawberries, cherry tomatoes, blood oranges, and one avocado (I don't know what I'll do with it, I'm afraid of it) at the uni produce stand... so I'll live off those (3 servings a day max and that's it) until I run out and then I'll buy more maybe. I was supposed to be doing 2-4-6-8 but now I can't even bear to think about that.
OH, PS. Just to clear things up. I am NOT 113. That is so embarrassing. That is GW2. I so wish I was right now. No no. I am fluctuating between 115-116. Sad day.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Stupid Weather
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7 comments:
sheesh! why on earth would anyone want tacos in a salad?? ITS A SALAD PEOPLE!
thats some pretty impressive self restraint out with friends where alcohol and cheese were on offer! i call bull-shizz on your scale number, dont let it get you down, its probably just your scale hating on your pointy collarbones coz it is jealous you're so close to GW2... xx
oooooof. better than me! i just swallowed an entire tbsp of choco syrup as I was about to gulp down almond milk. not yum. disgusting. anyway.
i think...you ought to lose the scale for awhile. It sounds scary yes, but you won't get bogged down by small fluctuations and since you are so close to your goal weight, I think the mystery of not knowing how much you weigh enforces the "don't eat too much" policy. Actually, the roots of this idea is present in businesses today...it's called the Foucault's panoptican...basically, self-correcting behavior when you don't know who is watching you. Basically, it's assumed that when people know they are being watched but can't see the "watchers" they immediately correct their behavior so as to not get into trouble. Same thing applies here...you know you need to lose weight, but w/o that scale...you'll try harder to reach your goal because you don't know the success of your efforts...
hope that made sense. I think I could have used schrodinger's cat...but I'll leave for another time =)
good job at Beer Garden, I am really proud of you =)
and one avocado (I don't know what I'll do with it, I'm afraid of it) <<< haha I wouldn't know what to do with one either! Good job at the beer garden <3
Hey it is weight that is irrational - it goes up and down in weird ways. dont worry, its just water retention - after a day of water, salad and lots of walking you should be down by o.5 ln at least. take care XXX
i always thought that the taco part kind of made the salad part ridiculous.
i mean, the whole point of a salad is to eat lightly and healthfully so why would someone load it with heavy, greasy food?
lol
im so jealous of your weight though,
and your so close to your GW2.
dont give up!
im still surprised at the fact that avocados are so many calories. when i was eating properly i always thought theyd be mad low.
XOXO Sophia Ruins <3
what to do with the avocado ((i.e. what I would do if I was you)):
Wait until soft, then cut into fourths and individually wrap each one ((or just eat it one fourth at a time)). Empty out fourth into a bowl or whatever, cut the cherry tomatoes in half ((unless they are ridiculously small)) and pour the goo over the avocado gunk. If the tomatoes are big enough, I'd try to spoon the mixture back into the tomato shell thing and eat it that way. Sounds so yum gah I may buy an avocado just to try it!
Or you could add salt and lime for a treat... Curse avocados for being so healthful yet so ridiculously hi cal
and props at the garden:]
Darling, I am so sorry you have been experiencing a whirlwind of emotions recently. I can utterly sympathise. I hope things get better for you soon.
I think you have been doing amazingly and are such an inspiration for me. So thank you so much for sharing all your thoughts with us.
If you ever need me, you know where to find me.
Much love,
ella xx
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