Retreat!!

Everyone has finally left, and I can start to get things back on track. It was terrible how much food I had to eat, my mother and I agreed we had never eaten so much in our lives stacked up like that... but BF's family, it seems, socializes through eating. "OK we'll all meet up for dinner/lunch/brunch/dessert" UGH. But BF's mom kept tut-tutting at me about my weight so I had to keep up appearances.

Her: "That dress looks so pretty on you. Where did you get it?"
Me: "Oh, it's a vintage dress I found in a little shop."
Her: "I imagine you've probably had to buy a whole new wardrobe..."
Me: "Pardon? I don't understand what you mean."
Her: "*embarrassed* Well, you look a lot more... erm, trim!"
Me: "*awkward* OH! Well um not really."

It's almost sad. I was asking BF how much weight he thinks I've lost in the past 2 months (15-20lbs) and he said THIRTY! God. It just shows me that I can never go back to that weight because clearly I looked like a cow. Now I'm just a little cow. Or a piglet.

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I've gotten sunburned from going to 4 outdoor graduations in the past week. But I refused to wear sunblock because A) I was lazy B) It was sticky C) I'm of the opinion I'll just burn anyway somewhere.

A little color is looking good on me. The pink is fading and turning into a tan. I'm normally SO pale but I have the ability to tan sometimes which I attribute to my strange mix of genes (Anglo + Italian) and the fact that I'm always covered in layers and indoors.

But the small tan on my arms and face make me feel so much thinner. It makes me want to start tanning. This is a bad idea because I've already had melanoma in high school (bleh that was an ordeal)... so everyone is super frightened that I'll just fall over and die one day after I spent too long in the sun.

Sigh.... I start working next week on this outdoor project for a month. I'd like to get an "accidental" tan so that I can't feel guilty. Bought a bunch of camisoles and I'm going to Target today to pick up some men's undershirts. Ah, I'm so bad. But I refuse to have a farmer's tan. So bad but it feels so good.

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Pasco and Ophelia have inspired me to start ABC. My weight during/after this graduation week has gone up to and maintained at about 121... which is surprising for me. I mean, I know that's a huge gain from like 115 but I can't even tell you what gross things went into my mouth 3 or more times a day. So I was so worried I would be 125, 130, or 140.

But just to be safe, I'm going to say my start weight is 123.

Yay! I'm excited. I have loads of good produce from Costco (BULK BULK BULK) so I won't run out and start binging on bad things. My goal is to try and eat something small every few hours rather than saving it up for one meal, because that usually ends up in failure.

Off to go eat some frozen grapes! Maybe some mustard and raw broccoli for dinner.

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P.S. I don't tell you all enough, but I absolutely love reading everyone's blogs and hearing your comments on my blog. You all send me the most insightful and curious comments. Basically everyone, you are fabulous!

Think Thin or Stay Fat!!