Guess what? I'm on another diet. Surprised? I'm not.
Trying the Dukan diet, and if I just stayed at home all the time, I'm sure I'd have lost like 194 pounds by now. Temptation lies beyond my doorstep, away from my fridge of safe foods. I've still lost like 5 pounds in a little more than a week, and I can at least say I'm being pseudo-healthy.
Just getting that boring stuff out of the way.
---
I've just gotten confirmation that I'll be appearing in a feature-film documentary. It's a secret, but my identity is supposed to be a secret to my readers, so I figure I'm not really telling anyone anything. Besides, it's not really featuring me, but my best friend... I'm a supporting character as usual. I'll probably end up on the cutting room floor.
I wouldn't care so much if I had prospects in my life beyond finishing my MA in September. However, it looks like I've taken the wrong turn in the backroads of life and ended up on a dead end street.
It's not even a street at this point, it's like a dirt road. No, not even that nice. It's the little patch of dead grass where people take a shortcut off the main path.
That's where I am, and the shortcut abruptly stops and I'm stuck in the middle of a forest.
It's kind of pathetic that after hearing people say, "You should do stand-up.... why don't you write a book?..... you are a really talented writer" blah blah bullshit blah blah, that the most I have to show for my talents are the random things that come out of my mouth too quickly for me to remember, or the writing on my anonymous blog on a topic that I can't share with anyone.
I'm stuck in the forest.
The only bright spot may be that being on camera (before I get cut out of the entire movie) might motivate me to get back to a respectable---but not skeletal---weight again.
I am obviously rusty, because I can't think of a way to end this rant. So I'm just cutting the transmission. Ah pun!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Oh, Hello!
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4 comments:
I WANT TO SEEEE YOU!! when when when?? i feel like we have 15,000 things to talk about. maybe this weekend? i could drive out for the day. it would give you a good excuse to not leave the safety of your house :D
xx x
a diet? nah, not you - of course you know, I'm going to run off and read about the Dukan diet...
& that's cool about the documentary - I hope you don't end up on the cutting room floor.
did you post the article about how feminism ruined our outlooks on life? It's an interesting concept, being told your whole life that you can be anything and everything turns you into this hollow person because you either have no idea what you want to be or you think what you've become isn't enough.
I think about you often - in fact I think about you anytime I crave food - the phrase my hateful watering mouth always jumps out at me and reminds me I need to ignore the request.
I totally freak out when I'm away from home and calories are only a debit card swipe away... I MUCH prefer the food at my house where at least if I eat until full, I can read the packaging.
Aww, hun. Don't be so down on yourself. Trust me, you're the only person that thinks that lowly of yourself. You're your own harshest critic...but you're not alone in that. I believe that's how we all are. We only see the worst in ourselves.
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