Saturday, March 13, 2010


I should be really horrified by this, but I can't help but feeling smug and pleased with myself.

After a few pints (I know, I'm eventually going to cut them out.... eventually) I walked home with a friend and decided to pop into the Tesco across the street--it's not a big problem normally because I loathe the whole Tesco corporation--and pick up something I really didn't need, and my stomach REALLY didn't need.

The automatic doors won't open. I think to myself, "Shit, it's almost 11 and they're closing up." Then I think, "Shit, it's not quite 11 they shouldn't lock me out when it's still technically open!" So I start knocking on the window. I get the brilliant idea to wait for a customer to walk out and then I'll dash in and grab that *thing* I didn't need. So I made a break for it, and apparently let in a couple who followed my lead as well.

So I grab this thing and am ready to go queue up, when this ridiculous completely uneducated man-boy says to the couple (who aren't nearly as fast as me, and still at the door) "No no, we're closed."

They look crushed and ask, "But we can't even get milk?"
"No" is his reply.
Then they kind of gesture toward me, and he looks and sees me and my thing in hand and says "No no we're closed."

And I, feeling brazen and full of Dutch Courage, show him my cellphone and say, "It's 10:58. You aren't closed. I'm buying this." And I walk to the queue. He says the same thing again but I don't budge and then the couple went and grabbed their milk and broccoli (at least someone was eating veggies in this story!).

So after waiting for this ridiculous man who was buying a cart full of groceries (UH, this is a Tesco "Express" who does full shopping at the chain-version of a corner store?!), I throw down ₤1.50 and say "Keep the change."

During the previous incredible wait, I did manage to have a lovely conversation with the broccoli woman next to me, who then decided to make her guy (who was on crutches) go an grab the thing that I just got. I'm so influential.

So I should feel horrible that I got completely rude in order to satisfy my bulging tummy, but I'm not. And you shouldn't either.

The moral of the story is... always do something that makes you a stronger person, even if your figure doesn't agree.


Flushed said...

I'm like that too, only I have been less intelligent when choosing my moments of sass. Hopefully, my English teacher doesn't hold a grudge when she's grading this essay that I've been struggling with...damn.


Char Vicki said...

This post makes me feel a heap better about myself :) thank you, and I'm happy for you.

V said...

I love this story so much! You go girl. : )

Pasco said...

Stick it to the man!

(well... man boy)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it is just completely necessary to assert yourself. Go you!


Grey Manhatten said...

Love this story!
This little couple must think of you as their hero :)

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