Ham-gate

Me to my mother (PD): "So what do you think about Paula Deen getting hit in the face with a frozen ham?"
My mother (PD): *In her best Southern drawl* "Oh at her age? That's just awful!"
Me: "What does age have to do with it?"
PD: "Hun, your face just doesn't hold up as well... If she were 30 it'd be a different story."

Then she proceeded to talk about how the dog must be starving and the plan to buy him hamburger tomorrow because she could see his ribs. Hunger strike and all that.

Uh right.

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I do wonder if the rest of America came to the immediate conclusion that I came before I got all the facts (what? it was an accident?? oh, not as interesting!):

Was the Paula Deen "Ham Throwing" incident to Food as the George W. Bush "Shoe Throwing" incident was to Politics?

You might not get my subtle standardized testing rhetoric. I think the world is similarly weary of seeing poor Paula shove her hand in BBQ sauce like it's........ jesus, I can't even find anything to compare that to... You shouldn't dip your whole hand in a bowl of *anything* then proceed to lick it off your fingers. "More butter" and phrases of the like aren't cheeky anymore. We're getting a little grossed out.

The Food Network has made me realize something after so many years of being on TV. We have fucking dedicated an entire NETWORK OF TELEVISION to something that we're only supposed to be doing to keep us alive.

I think the world is sick of Paula and Jamie (shit, I am sick of Jamie, and I just learned who the hell he was 2 months ago) and even Top Chef (sorry Padma). Please tell Gordon Ramsey, he's not scary except for what all that yelling has done for his face.

Seriously... you all have ruined food. Bush has ruined the world, and you all have ruined cuisine.

Thanks.

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Hope your nose isn't broken Paula. You're a tough cookie (damn it!).