What Ho, Readers!
I may or may not be losing my job soon. This is really shitty because I want to quit. It's also really stupid because this is the first time I've ever not been able to juggle school, social life, and hold down a job. I'm obviously less high functioning than I look ;)
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Managed to do what I have decided to be THE stupidest method of self harm YET (Oh and there have been plenty... I always get asked about "cutting" and "overdosing" but I want to say, "Wait, you don't want to hear about the really clever ones??"). I'm going to tell you about it only because I can't think of anyone as stupid as I am who would actually go through with this.
Decided to color my hair because I'm sick of the auburn color it is. Bought bleach and bleached it. Realized the stupid pink I colored it months and months ago was underneath the auburn and black I had on top that bleached out perfectly.... so fully knowing I should wait to bleach it again, I bleached it 2 days later AND put another color on after the bleach to get the yellow out.
The bleaching went fine but the color started burning my head. That's when I started getting very, "pain is gain" about the whole thing and wanted to see how long I could last.
Now my head is raw and weeping and I can already envision the scabs. This was dumb.
The pink didn't come out. It's kind of interesting looking though. Just wish I didn't effing burn my head so I could actually use toner to get the yellows out.
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Term papers are due on the 14th and I haven't started a single one. Oops.
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A care package arrived with all my favorite American Christmas candy. Damn. I think I'm going to dole them out to friends and be like "Look how kitchy this is!"
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I need to replace my toothbrush. Very anal about when they start to get old (after like a month lol!) but I can't find where I put the damn replacements.
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I have a negative balance in my bank account and my American health insurance just went up. FML
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The best thing of all though is that yesterday I came home and went straight to bed at 7PM and woke up at 7AM. Now all the shitty things in the world don't seem to bother me.
Have a restful day. Zone out on the bigger things for a bit with me!
Toodle pip,
Savory
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Update On the State that I Am In
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6 comments:
You, my dear, have lifted my spirits.
Toodle pip in deed!
xxx
Dude, my friends sent me a huge package of American candy too. Gah. I can't bear to part with it, but I can't bear to eat it... I hope it rots before my next binge.
You're sweet <3
well that sounds regrettable. sore head is not great. lucky you have a wig waiting in the wings then non??
what are you doing for christmas? are you in london or what?
cheerio! xx
ah evil candy. do not succumb to its sugary death grip!
ah evil candy. do not succumb to its sugary death grip!
I start writing a blog about my life with my eating
disorder and my addiction to fashion. I really need
readers,
because in my real life I had no listeners. Alone, yes I
was
always alone with my thoughts, in those days I didn't
care about it.
Untill I discovered the blogs and learnt how good it can
feel to have
readers. Readers, which share the same intress and
have the same
feelings after a shitty snack attack.
Plz, visit me:
beautiful-lunacy.blogspot.com
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