Sunday, December 20, 2009

Control.

Flying back to America for the holiday in a few hours. Am super neurotic about traveling and TR isn't here to hold my hand through being crazy and resistant about it.

I don't know why I developed this fear of traveling. It happened some time a few years ago. Used to be that airports and train stations were exciting and maybe a bit romantic... but I've come to realize despite the price tag, I am in a vehicle that is a glorified city bus. And after living where I've lived, the city bus is disgusting no matter what allure they try to paint with "Red busses" in London to win me over. Nope, it's filthy and smelly and no one on there can be trusted not to have the flu or be rude.

There are also too many variables about the airport I can't control. Delayed flights. Gross people sitting next to me. Getting to the airport on time (must rely on other forms of public transport which are equally unreliable). It's all too stressful.

It's the same reason that while I like to drive, I find driving to be a stress-inducing activity. I'm a great driver, but everyone else on the road is probably trying to kill me at any given point. Most of them shouldn't have a license.

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So I'll be fat for Christmas and New Years. Hopefully this period will give me some time to widdle myself back to a respectable weight because I never over-eat when I'm with other people and food is continuously flowing. I flip out and don't want to eat much.

Must avoid the scale because my thighs are telling me I won't like the number I see. However, I know that everyone will be pleased at my weight gain. This will keep people from bothering me about things while I try to sort my body-philosophy out for myself.

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Thank you to my readers, new (hello there!) and those of you who have been with me for a bit. You all have stuck it out when my blog has veered in many directions and always been helpful, supportive, kind, and loving.

Hope the upcoming holidays are the least stressful as possible!

6 comments:

what if summer... said...

Well, America isn't going anywhere, even if you miss your flight. And now I understand your status update about traveling back in time :P
Also, widdle is not a word. It's whittle (to carve into an object by repeatedly cutting small slices from it). Word of the day!

KEMPER said...

EVERYBODY I've met recently and driven with is a HORRIBLE driver!

So many accidents, especially around the holidays... It's scary. Makes me want to become a misanthrope for safety. :/

And I'll be fat for the holidays too, nothing's been working out like I've planned... :( But we've got a fresh start after the new year, right?

Little Dandelion Girl said...

It was so lovely to meet you too - and you may think you are going to be fat for Christmas, but your legs rock, trust! I understand the scale thing, I had the most horrible shock yesterday. Mistake. Just waiting for New Year!
.
Hope travelling back wasn't a totally horrific experience and that you get back safe and sound.
.
Take care, and I hope to see you again! xxx

Ana's Girl said...

I must admit, i'm one of those people who shouldn't even have my license... Quite honestly, i don't know how i ever got it. Very reassuring indeed...
Good luck with the holidays, they're always hellish, but i know we can survive!

Anise said...

it was SO lovely to meet you and you are quite wonderful and amazing! i hope we can meet up again sometime when we're in the same vicinity again, and i hope you're enjoying the sunshine and nice weather at home! how lucky you are that you do not overeat with your family! with my family i eat like i'm starving to death (oh wait, ha ha) AND i'm going to Paris where there will be ten thousand bad things all around me...

you are, as always, an incredibly articulate, self-aware and thoughtful writer and your blog keeps me trying to write better and more thoughtfully. thank you.

:D

throughraindrops said...

rude smelly people yes but i find buses quite entertaining as you see so many different people on them

i like people watching
granny with pink hair
woman with a huge bunch of helium ballooons
the devil (best costume i have ever seen) and his child
drunk man singing somewhere over the rainbow
my recent favourites

good luck flying

 
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