Sunday, December 6, 2009

Old Record

Spent the night in the hospital.

How many times can shit like this go down before it's completely tiresome?

Nothing to whine about. Don't drink cough syrup though... the next morning isn't pleasant. I also learned that what we Yankees call acetaminophen is called paracetamol everywhere else in the world. Oops.

Food intake at the hospital is always great. When they're worried about your kidneys failing, they don't give a shit if you eat the gravied pork (after you've already slurred your vegetarian ways) that's gathering significant precipitation under the now-swampy plastic hospital cover. So my intake was 80cal of cheese and 30cal of cracker and negative calories for whatever it was I managed to purge from the day before.

When I got out of the hospital, my mood immediately elevated despite lacking a good reason, and I bought a Subway to pretend I was in America where I wouldn't have just been sent home with a pat on the head.

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Seriously though, the one thing that is good about the hospital is that it's the shittiest hotel you'll ever stay in. This is fine if you've got nationalized health care and you aren't paying for it, but I do get a bit irked when I think about how much I'm shelling out to be mentally sodomized in the US.

But back to my original point. I like to be taken care of and know that there's a routine and a schedule that I have to follow. It's like vacation.

(omg, side note for a good paper)

Sometimes I'll say to people, "If I had it my way, I just wouldn't ever do anything. Ever." I always get the same response: "Oh doesn't everyone want that?"

No. Lock me in a room without windows and external stimuli forever and I think I'd be ok. People creep me out more than they comfort me. Too much stuff is overwhelming. Just leave me alone with my craziness and my thoughts and the promise of no responsibility to anyone or anything and I would be happy.

When you tell people that you don't want to do anything, they think you mean 1) Quit your job 2) Be rich 3) Live on some kind of fancy deserted island where you still have access to everything you want and desire.

People actually need to do meaningful things in their lives. Well most people. People like us find meaning from within. From staring down at our bodies... blobs of skin... for hours. Letting our mind race from topic to topic, conversations of the past, and things that need to be done. A mental checklist.

The only people who actually don't want to do anything are the people who are so exhausted from themselves it's hard to live in both the real world and the one that's going on inward.

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Integrating back into society after a brief hospital holiday. Remembering how to successfully lead two lives.

4 comments:

Flushed said...

I'd like to do nothing forever, if I were perfect I'd be ALL UP IN Society! But I'm not--so nothing? Forever? Sounds wonderful.

Oh well, must conform.
Happy Conforming Savory, make the best of it!
Luv ya.

Lulu said...

you poor thing, nhs sucks.

i have lots more to say but i thought i could save it and we could go get drunk together when i'm back in london (SOON!)

whaddaya say?

xx

throughraindrops said...

so true
i often find i do nothing just sit and nothing nobody else gets how i do that. that would indeed make a good paper :)

x

Lola V. said...

http://isabellasjustfine.blogspot.com/2009/12/disillusioned.html


I'd be interested to know what you think about this. I have a feeling that you'd agree with the author, but I could be wrong :/

 
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