Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dinner

All I could think about was what I wasn't going to eat. My professor's voice grazed my ears, bringing me back to the lecture... but even as I dutifully took notes, nodded along, my mind was elsewhere:

Do I eat something today? Am I allowed? Maybe just one little thing... I have 2 pounds in my bag that I have scraped together. No no, I'm not hungry.

After doing all the readings this weekend, I felt compelled to contribute something during discussion, even though the reading was never mentioned in lecture (pathetic). I raised my hand and felt very timid, nervous. Then I realized my hands were shaking and this was the third mint I'd eaten in an hour. Clearly, this wasn't working, I told myself.

I ate half a sandwich on wheat bread. Drank a lot lot lot of water.

There. That will get me through until tomorrow.

---

Except I went home and made rice. Tried to sleep. Then I made soup, having totally given up.

Two and a half dinners in one night. What will the scale say?

13 comments:

addicted to life said...

The scale is always very severe... Don't torture yourself

Ana's Girl said...

I'm the same way. Every day, all i think about is what to eat; what not to eat; what i will allow myself to eat... and then i eat too much. Hang in there, dearest. Let's show the scale we can make its numbers go down.

tracy said...

Today my scale said, "F-you!"

Kelly said...

what an exhausting string of questions we run through on a daily basis.

...I picked up a rock today, it's in my pocket, I intend to leave behind a worry, 'what if my marriage fails' - I'll just have to cross that bridge if it presents itself, but worrying about it won't change a thing

Cally C. said...

I hate those moments when my blood sugar overtakes my brain.
It happens to all of us.
I hope the scale was gentle to you.

*Princess*Smile* said...

if only there was a pill to take that would raise blood sugar and not your love handles. ah maybe one day.

Little Dandelion Girl said...

hey munchkin, sorry I havent been in touch that much at the moment - may be london way soon :-)

there brand name is rodomel? Dont know if you know it by that instead? x

hope you are feeling better and the scals werent too harsh after your dinners xx

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Demelza said...

Hey, Savory. Don't worry about the scale. You know as well as the rest of us that number can go down nearly as quick as it goes up.
And, thanks for the comment on my post. Sorry it took so long for me to respond--but thanks for the recommendations :) I've started "Skinny Bitch" and it's so lovely. I plan to find "Earthlings" tomorrow.
Love,
Demma

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