Thursday, September 17, 2009

Bleh Bleh

So, I'm not sure if I have a cold or the flu. I was hoping for the flu... except yesterday I gave myself permission to eat food. Bad idea. Stupid me.

Convinced myself Kraft mac/cheese was not brown because it's my comfort food. I won't eat any other kind because frankly the whole idea disgusts me. But I managed to eat the entire box by myself through the course of the day.

My intake wasn't much better. Jello, Cottage cheese & salted tomatoes, hummus & flaxseed chips, more jello, hummus and popcorn.

I am super fat. Like retaining water and sodium. Like 4 pounds. In one day.

I'm not as upset because I know that this might mean I'm done with the plateau. And that I get to abuse over-the-counter drugs again.

Today I ate a bowl of jello (safe and colorful), 1 piece of licorice, and 2 swedish fish. I had the candy because I forgot and after the swedish fish, I realized I was mindlessly eating and threw the other ones in my hand straight in the garbage. Proud. This shouldn't be something I'm throwing a party about because I literally have no appetite.


Anyway, so I'm still super excited about anti-Brown and I think you all should spread the word. To answer Anise's question about how I am defining the color brown (aka am I including things like taupe, carmel, fawn, etc.)... pretty much I'm going by ear and once I decide it's set in stone. For instance, white bread/pasta is brown... if you bleach your hair, it doesn't mean your not a brunette no matter how much you convince yourself. However, I am letting myself eat oatmeal, because I want to and it's filling and I won't binge on it. And PeriAdot, you eat marmite and vegemite if you damn well please, because this plan is everyone's plan. It won't work if you can't tailor it to yourself (DID YOU HEAR THAT EVERY FAD DIET EVER INVENTED?! FUCK YOU FOR NOT WORKING!).

Yes, for me hummus is brown. So I choose a hummus where the main ingrediant is edemamme or tomatoes... lower calories and prettier.


Um, so yeah. It felt like the flu but I don't have the fever, body aches, and general dying feeling I had yesterday. So it must be a cold. But if you still want to get sick, send me a personal belonging and I'll try my best to infect it and send it back hahaha.

Oh, in seriousness... I've been thinking about "bookcrossing" my copy of Wasted to someone, except not really going by the rules because I want someone I know who wants it to read it since I don't have a use for it anymore lol. So if anyone wants and thinks I'm not a stalker, feel free to email me w/ a link to your blog or profile (as I'm forgetful) and we can arrange some sort of mailing of it. Yes, it means I'll find out where you live-ish, but it also means you'll find out where I live haha (I wouldn't recommend this if your parents open your mail, or are curious fellows).

Anyway, much love and all my affection. Have to be a photog for my friend's art adventure. I'll show some pictures of it later since I think it's really neat and I kind of helped with the right hand lol.

EDIT: Okay, here it is. Go look at it because I made my eyes bleed photographing the thing and because it looks neat haha. I couldn't have it in my house without bad dreams and an addiction to Ambien, but hopefully she wins the "Nine" contest she's entering. Anyone seen the movie? Tim Burton doesn't get me out of the house anymore... his love affair with Johnny Depp has worn me out. But don't let me being a Debbie Downer keep you from enjoying his creativity and softball-team of eccentrics he's banded together.

Oh, so yeah. When you want to eat just look at the creature. It wants to kill you. Also it thinks your a whimp and wants to kill you. I know I'm not going to raid the fridge tonight (ack I really want to though).



what if summer... said...

I feel like there are some things that slip through the cracks in your anti brown plan, but I see what you mean by it (and far be it from me to rain on your parade). In a nutshell, I don't think artificial coloring should count as color... because it would just be dying your hair a bazilllion other colors (like your blonde analogy).

Anyway... my mouth watered at the mention of Flax seed chips. Omg I am such a California health nut douche. Ha ha ha... Trader Joe's is my holy grail!

cutelittlefangs said...

Kraft Mac/Cheese is totally yellow. xP

Anyway, I just wound up reading your entire blog this evening, you have another follower even if it doesn't show because I'm doing it anonymously. I really hope this england thing goes through perfectly!

But yeah, nothing that's brown tastes good at all. Otherwise, it wouldn't be brown. -repeats to self six hundred times-

SophiaRuins said...

sweet jesus, that picture is a bit disturbing =o

ive been retaining water like mad lately, and im currently trying to find a fix for that.

as far as the boyfriend thing goes, i was writing about a guy i never really got around to posting about.
that was how unimportant he seemed to be at the time.

i think that if there were any traces of him in my post id just mention him as my ex that i talk to a lot or something.

stay strong hun!

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

G. Samsa said...

I hate being sick. When I'm sick I can't work out, and when I don't work out, I eat. For some probably-messed-up reason, the more I exercise, the less appetite I have. And of course, when I'm sick, some part of my brain says, "You're sick! You need food for energy to fight this off!" which always seems like a shockingly compelling argument until after I've eaten. Anyway, I hope you feel better soon!

And I play a shadowpriest. I used to heal, but I got sick of everything being my fault when things went badly, and getting no credit when things went well. Much as I love the game, though, I'd recommend against getting back into it if you've successfully kicked it -- it takes up WAY too much of my life.


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