Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The New Regime

OK. I'm going to make this quick, as this should be a work in progress and I want feedback. Also, I think I'm getting sick. I have that phlegm-y taste in my mouth after I cough and my nose is all gross... and my stomach is acting up.

I HOPE IT'S THE FLU!!! I'm sorry, but being sick is the best diet ever.

---

Here is my much anticipated new plan. I think it's brilliant.

I even did research at a restaurant (No. I can't even call it that... it was a "diner") and a grocery store to see how well my New Regime did in Consumer Tests.

It's Called: The Anti-Brown

You may not eat anything, ANYTHING that is colored or resembles a food or beverage that is brown in nature. Don't even think about it as "giving up something" because brown is no longer an option. Brown is poison.

I mean, think about it. What is brown that's actually safe? Um very little. Therefore, just throw it all out.

Example 1
You sit down at said diner, and open your menu. You think to yourself "what shall I order?" Instead of thinking "OH I can't have that hamburger, it's so fatty!" You change your attitude and simply remark "Oh lord! I can't believe what a drab shade of brown they expect me to consume in that patty and bun... where's the color?!"



Oh yeah, A) I dyed my hair black B) That is an example of some of my mother's crazy weird lazy cooking. She called that... um... goulash. That's not what it is. It's a mess of stuff. Sadly, it tasted great.

But it looks horrible. No color.

So there you go. Look for color, stay away from the browns! Nothing about brown is good.

So just by cutting out the browns you are cutting out so many bingy breads, pastas, meat, pastries, cookies, chocolate, coffee (black is fine), colas, all grains (if you want to get super picky)...

And opening up a world full of colorful fruits and veggies, green tea, popcorn, black beans, (for those of you who aren't vegan --> egg whites, yogurt, and fat-free cottage cheese)...

Example 3: On my personal grocery store hunt to see if this was possible, I looked through the "hummus" dips to see if I could find any alternative to my horrible sinful love... UM traded in my 90cal-per-2tbsp drab brown for 35cal-per-2tbsp glamorous red tomato/basil hummus. Proof. Need I say more?

---

You aren't giving up anything. You are leaving the dingy world of boring gross looking food for a more exciting life full of beautiful colors that make you want to look at and eat your meals.

Go out and buy some Fiestaware to go with the new Regime.

---

Thoughts, comments, and general haberdashery always welcome...

Cheers,
Savory

14 comments:

Pasco said...

WONDROUS!

I love it! And I love the sound of tomato/basil hummus - way way WAY better than regular hummus, AND way better for you!

COLOUR COLOUR COLOUR

I'll never touch a brown again...

x

PeriAdot (G+P) said...

Can I request a motion to exempt Marmite and Vegemite from the Ban on Brown?

My argument is that they are tasty, low-cal and make an amazing soup stock.

<3

Other than that, Brown is no longer a food group. It is like wood or cardboard. Can be pretty to look at if prepared skilfully, but otherwise useless and inedible.

Oiseau said...

I love that! I'm starting today :)

you're right. Getting sick is the best
diet haha. I'm with you on that one.

SBB said...

lol your post had me laughing sooo hard! I was really looking forward to your new plan, I figured it'd be some strict calorie thing. But no. It was all based on a colour and I absolutely LOVED it!
Btw your eyes are gorgeous! I'm so jealous - mine are brown <\3
Being sick is the best diet =) share with me?
xo

Lyla Unleashed said...

ever since i was a little kid i have never had any use for brown. i like your plan very much. down with brown!

Anise said...

i love this plan! but:
i need some clarification here!: does brown include taupe-, camel-, chestnut-, and fawn-coloured items? is white bread off the list? (PLEASE say yes although white bread is really as far from brown as you can get. or are we allowed to eat the white part of the bread but not the crust? and i'm assuming hummus is also considered brown, although it is more taupe/fawn coloured?

right. really i just need an excuse to NOT EAT BREAD EVER. :D

xx

Snow White said...

Haha you're totally right. Being sick is the best diet. Mostly because you don't have to try, it just works.

And your plan is brilliant ! Everyone's been told to eat more vegetables and stuff like that, but just taking out brown is such a good idea !

Ana's Girl said...

I agree. Being sick is awesome when it comes to not eating :)
Sounds like an awesome plan. I doubt i could stick with it because of my parents always watching what i eat, but if it wasn't for them, i'd totally be doing it. It sounds so great.
Stay strong and stick with it!

p.s. You're so freakin' pretty, even with your grossed out face!

Flushed said...

I like it! I like it!

(the pix are awesome too!)

Boo to the Brown!

Mel said...

Okay, I'm definately tempted with this one. I may just postpone my Boot camp and join, because let's face it, I cannot follow a regime for more than a couple days before I decided to switch it up.
I fail.

SophiaRuins said...

OMGYOURSOPRETTY!

=D


and that anti-brown plan sounds amazing, i think i might start cutting out all brown things from my diet as well


XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

Minaralou said...

I love the picture at the end :D ♥ colours are sooo wonderful :D
And you are absolutely right with the colour brown.... apart from qhole grain bread with many seeds and stuff I can not think of anything that is healthy/not fattening or low cal...I have been avoiding brown stuff for a long time and I do not miss anything..right I am a vegan so many brwon stuff is not very attractive for me anyway but still!!:P
also comparing has helped me very much not to binge on stuff because it is never worth it. for example if I have had a chocolate dream and crave for dark chocolate I just remind myself that it is 500cal and how much other stuff I could eat for that...for example 2 kilos of carrots euqal 100g of dark chocolate...!

xoxo

Sarah. said...

Ahhh smart, i like the no brown idea!
I SWEAR I SAW YOU TODAY!! haha she looked just like you!? Was crazy.
x

KIKI BONES said...

I love it!
May I still eat brown bread (on special occasions of course) and tea? I can't give up my tea :(

 
design by suckmylolly.com