The New Regime

OK. I'm going to make this quick, as this should be a work in progress and I want feedback. Also, I think I'm getting sick. I have that phlegm-y taste in my mouth after I cough and my nose is all gross... and my stomach is acting up.

I HOPE IT'S THE FLU!!! I'm sorry, but being sick is the best diet ever.

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Here is my much anticipated new plan. I think it's brilliant.

I even did research at a restaurant (No. I can't even call it that... it was a "diner") and a grocery store to see how well my New Regime did in Consumer Tests.

It's Called: The Anti-Brown

You may not eat anything, ANYTHING that is colored or resembles a food or beverage that is brown in nature. Don't even think about it as "giving up something" because brown is no longer an option. Brown is poison.

I mean, think about it. What is brown that's actually safe? Um very little. Therefore, just throw it all out.

Example 1

You sit down at said diner, and open your menu. You think to yourself "what shall I order?" Instead of thinking "OH I can't have that hamburger, it's so fatty!" You change your attitude and simply remark "Oh lord! I can't believe what a drab shade of brown they expect me to consume in that patty and bun... where's the color?!"

Example 2
The above picture is me being grossed out at the picture that I have cleverly found a way to do my own version of a "livejournal" cut for those of you who want to see an example of why brown food isn't tastey... it isn't gross. But it's food.

Oh yeah, A) I dyed my hair black B) That is an example of some of my mother's crazy weird lazy cooking. She called that... um... goulash. That's not what it is. It's a mess of stuff. Sadly, it tasted great.

But it looks horrible. No color.

So there you go. Look for color, stay away from the browns! Nothing about brown is good.

So just by cutting out the browns you are cutting out so many bingy breads, pastas, meat, pastries, cookies, chocolate, coffee (black is fine), colas, all grains (if you want to get super picky)...

And opening up a world full of colorful fruits and veggies, green tea, popcorn, black beans, (for those of you who aren't vegan --> egg whites, yogurt, and fat-free cottage cheese)...

Example 3: On my personal grocery store hunt to see if this was possible, I looked through the "hummus" dips to see if I could find any alternative to my horrible sinful love... UM traded in my 90cal-per-2tbsp drab brown for 35cal-per-2tbsp glamorous red tomato/basil hummus. Proof. Need I say more?

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You aren't giving up anything. You are leaving the dingy world of boring gross looking food for a more exciting life full of beautiful colors that make you want to look at and eat your meals.

Go out and buy some Fiestaware to go with the new Regime.

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Thoughts, comments, and general haberdashery always welcome...

Cheers,
Savory