Sunday, October 18, 2009

swing of the pendulum

I can't stop shoving things into my mouth. It's so bad that I pulled out a box of scones I had thrown into my waste bin the night before and ate it (disgusting, but there was only paper in there but still I fucking dug through the trash to get my food).

Yeah, I totally wasn't going to tell you all about that. But who else can I whine to? "Ew, I'm eating food again... and now I can't stop. And I threw carbs in the trash so I wouldn't eat them but then I felt guilty for wasting food AKA I wanted to eat them still. Whine." Yeah, no one else in the world would be sympathetic of that. I don't even really think you should.

The only solution I can see is going back to safe foods. "What?!" You say. "You have been stocking unsafe foods!!???!" Yes, I for a brief period thought I could keep carbs and sweets in the fridge and cabinets without eating my grocery list in one weekend.

Apparently not.

When it rains it pours.

I'm also binging on clementine oranges so I guess my safe foods aren't really safe.


Also in the extreme arena is my adoration for super skinny, not-busty-and-proud Olivia Wilde. If she can be a sex symbol than I shouldn't be so upset about the way I'm distributed and stop this vicious cycle and just like the way I look. Except get thinner. Ha.

Yours in pie-eating-contests,


SBB said...

She is absolutely mind blowingly gorgeous. So jealous.

Pasco said...

I have bought the same box of granola a thousand times and each times I say "I am going to eat this sensibly in small, portion-controlled amounts". And each time I eat the entire box within 24 hours. Sometimes within 2 hours. Then each time I say it is never allowed into my house again.

Shelter in your safe foods. An infinite number of clementine oranges is probably better than the shameful sugary bin-carbs that we have all eaten at some stage in our lives (or many stages, in reference to myself).

Chin up you sexy bustless wonder!


Kelly said...

kind of funny you want a bigger chest and I'm thrilled mine is shrinking!! Crazy world, we all want what we can't have.

good luck with going back to safe foods, this will be my first week back to restriction.

& omg olivia is sooo gorgeous

Anonymous said...

Haha, love the salutation.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh yay, I love Olivia Wilde, and I'm so glad someone shares my enthusiasm. I think Megan Fox is completely overrated... I know a million girls who look like cheap sluts, but there're only a handful of the girls who've got that extra something Olivia has. And it's something skinny for sure!

Anonymous said...

ughh im sorry dear! i know its such a struggle but you can do it! i hate that i try to keep safe foods in the house but that just makes me go get fast food :( keep going, you can do it! we all have those terrible days

G. Samsa said...

See, that's why you have to take the food out of the box and THEN throw it in the trash. That way it's positively contaminated and you'll be less likely to "rescue" it.

No doubt this comment betrays my own adventures. But if it makes you feel better, it's worth it.


Anise said...

i too have had embarrassing digging through the trash moments, including an all-time low in which someone at work threw out a perfectly good 4th of July cake and I stood there in the break room (alone of course), reaching into the trash with a fork and shoving cake into my mouth. so i get it. do not be ashamed. or rather, be ashamed, but know that you are not alone. i have since learned that anything that goes in the trash must be fully and completely destroyed, as in the "extra" cupcakes put in a ziploc with water and red wine vinegar and mushed together for a while. even then the next i was considering it. why are we so sick??
also olivia wilde is probably the hottest woman on the planet and i am torn between wanting desperately to look like her and wanting to rip all her clothes off.

also thank you for your post on my blog. i don't know why but it made me feel better. :D

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