Monday, October 12, 2009

2 Revelations

1) I don't like Jaffa Cakes despite how much they are adored on blogger. Hooray! It is a bit sad that I sought them out after hearing so many woeful stories about them though... I'm a sucker for sabotage I guess.

2) Buying clothes where you buy your groceries doesn't make sense, and as such you should just expect similar customer service.


So I got a job. Yay! In retail... which means I have to spent my first week's paycheck before I've even started working on going out and getting "smart" black clothes. Here's where H&M would have come in except I have no sense of direction and walked a strange way that led to nowhere interesting. Navigated back and decided to pop in at the little M&S.

I thought I knew a little bit about British sizes but it all got very confusing very fast.
"Excuse me... what number is the equivalent of a small here?" (I keep seeing 12, 14, 18... which seems HUGE but that's all they have so I decide I must not understand the sizes)
"It depends on how small you want to go." (WTF does that even mean)
"Blah blah blah 6 is the smallest we have here blah blah"
"OK so a 6?"
"NO NO That's like really skinny."

OK fuck you. Obviously you're telling me I can't get into a size 6, which I know is not as small as it goes (I'm aware of the magic UK size 4).

"Erm, right. So I should get like an 8?"
"Size 6 is tiny. Like runway small. Catwalk."

Now that I'm embarrassed about how fat this woman must think I am, holding onto loads of depressing black clothes in sizes 8 & 10 because I figure I must fit into that since I'm a whale but everything else looks too big, AND everyone's just heard about how I have no idea what size I'm supposed to be buying IN A F-ING GROCERY STORE.... I slink over to the check out and try not to let my things touch the dirty food conveyor belt this girl obviously wants me to put them on.

Get home. They all fit. Knew it.

Obsessed now with finding this size 6 so I can see if I'll rip out the seams by looking at it.


Now I'm stuck with stupid clothes that don't fit me right. Not that anything ever has fit me right since I've come to the conclusion that if you want to look good you need plastic surgery and a good tailor.

I don't remember what I was ranting about. It's not important. One of you lovely ladies need to point me in the direction of some real shops. None of this grab a jumper and a sammie on the way out business.

Gah. I'm frustrated.


In other news, shoes are officially your only friends. I have never ever had a bad experience trying on shoes (except those weird wide ones that I'm POSITIVE somehow make feet look fat). This proves that shoe shopping is the only joy left in my world and explains why I have more pairs than outfits to match them up with.

That said, I am longing for some new boots. Because no one can tell me how damn thin I have to be to try on a boot. And if my feet are big, well fuck, it usually means I'm taller. So there.

Go buy some shoes for me. I'm out of money ;)


Libertine said...

If you're in london, hit the high streets.

Camden for the punk rocker in you.
Oxford street/Covent garden for the normal shops.
Brick lane for the vintage/60s you.

Ask the girls at your work where they shop, they'll happily tell you where to go.
Actually, english girls can be bitchy, so ask wisely :p

And I'm jealous, I'm barely squeezing into a size 10.
8 would be heaven for me.

Anonymous said...

Ha 8 is slim, 6 is skinny, 4 is the equivalent of a US size zero but you'll have a hell of a job finding anywhere that stocks that. What really fucks me off is that H&M small is about a us4 and they never stock many XS so the smallest you can go is an 8 which is baggy.
M&S is traditionally a shop favoured by old (dumpy?) women so it will be harder there to find 6s as its not the target market.
TOPSHOP is your best bet for finding 6s and 4s because they design most of their clothes for skinny adolescents. But its expensive so dont get tempted by the basics.
M&S is good for basics but not particularly competitively priced as they favour quality. If you want stuff thats super cheap and good throwaway clothes go to primark. Its worth the hunting.
I'm trying to think of more helpful hints but basically i just save up and splurge at H&M and topshop when i get to the point where nothing fits anymore.
Oooh and Zara - thats good for basics, not too expensive etc etc.

I also need new boots and have no money. life is really unfair.
(oh and if i were you i'd steer clear of shoes from Office. Theyre all gorgeous but a little overpriced and most importantly, not very long lasting. They will betray you and you will be sad. If you do buy from there, wait for the sales/get them resoled straight away so their stupid soft soles dont wear away and ruin the heel.

always here for advice when you need it!

(oh and GODDAMN i never buy food from M&S - its gooooooooood food but its not cheap at all. again, you're paying for quality. )

throughraindrops said...

ASDA have size 4s its a food shop sorry but it has 4s it caused much public outrage when they started selling them lol
new look has 6s i like new look not too pricey and they have lots of shoes :)!
river island , topshop, dorthy perkins, jane norman all have 6 h&m does have them ocassionally but there sizes are odd sometimes in european sometimes in small medium etc sometimes in uk sizes

jaffa cakes yuk agreed!


Pasco said...

I love shoes. They never make you look fat (although watch out, some of them connive to make your legs looks sorter bwa ha ha!).

So in other news, Pasco = shit blog friend and fatty-mc-fat-fuck. But she still loves you and is determined to reform her ways!


Anonymous said...

there should be one size used globally for clothe sizes!

Ana's Girl said...

Ugh. Stupid sales lady, telling you you can't fit a 6. Seriously, wouldn't a non-ED person be offended by the words she used?!
Anyway, i totally agree about buying clothes at a grocery store; i work at a grocery store and sometimes they have clothes in the middle of the aisle and such and people actually buy them, like wtf?!
And shoes are sent from God! I love shoes so much. And you're absolutely right, they are the only joy in shopping. I didn't realize that before, but just the other day, i bought both shoes and a shirt, and i obsess over how fat the shirt makes me look, but i LOVE the shoes. Wow, you're a friggin genius. Lol.

Anonymous said...

Man. I wish I could buy shoes. lol

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