Cue The Music

It's time to be better about a lot of things.

Number 1. Stop skipping school. It's a vicious tornado of self-loathing and moping in bed.

Number 2. No more food is allowed in the room. Eat it in the kitchen. A) It gets munched mindlessly whilst watching TV B) The room smells gross later when not eating. Eat in the kitchen, none of my flatmates believe I eat anyway... which is unfortunately far from true.

Number 3. Count calories, fat content, and portions/ratios again. Write it all down. I'm trying to maintain weight, but I don't want to live on Percy Pigs, squash, and guacamole.

Number 4. Read and comment on blogs. Every day. Starting tomorrow.

Corollary to Numbers 1 & 4. Take the ritalin and do the assigned reading for class dammit.

Number 5. Buy a scale. This seems counter-productive, but aside from the facts that I moved to another country, had zero cash, and went off my meds, I started binging when I lost track of my weight. Perhaps it might be useful to stick to a happy-comfortable-safe number if I know what that number is without going to the dreaded Surgery.

Number 6. Keep the damn room clean. Do the laundry. Scrub the toilet and clean the sink/shower. A clean house is a happy house. It's true.

Number 7. Save and record receipts in the handy Piggy Bank themed "Money Planner" that hasn't been used. Speaking of which, stop buying stupid things.

Number 8. Always look pretty.

Number 9. Figure out a sleep schedule and stick to it, no matter who is online or what kind of sparkly thing is on the internet. No more of this sleep at 4 AM and wake at 11AM (Oh, funny story as an aside. I, for some reason that I now don't remember, kept taking multiple doses of Prozac the other night, followed by some Trasadone and Topamax, and then more than a few Ambien. I woke up what I thought was 9:00AM with my mom screaming on iChat because I guess I had slept a full 24 hours after popped all these pills while talking to her, rolled my eyes, mumbled something and craweled into bed only to wake at 9:00PM. Oops).

Corrollary to Number 9. Stop fucking around with meds and drugs.

Number 10. This could be any number of things, all of which sound very vague. Be a nicer person? Go out and do things more? Make an effort to be happier? I'm just going to go with... Channel that impulsive, ambitious, aggressive, irritable, perfectionist energy into something less destructive (i.e. eating, shopping, cutting, sleeping). Maybe doodling. Binge doodle.

Loving you all more and more every day, even if you don't know it. I have the amazing ability to skim through my reader so I at least know the first paragraph of your current lives every now and then.

Devoted,
Savory