Thursday, August 6, 2009

Even my avatars are fat...

If you haven't seen Mad Men, get the fuck off blogger and go watch some bootlegged copy right now. I'd mail you my special Zippo Lighter Season 1 DVD but I've just loaned it to some other sad sap who hasn't seen it...

For those of you still with me, today I've made myself into a subordinate 1960s kitchy woman. This was cute and fun until I felt ashamed of her and thought her arms were too fat to be pictured. I was totally honest about the nose though. In 2008, I don't smoke... unless I'm drunk or really melancholy and it's a cigarillo (mmm swisher sweets), but in 1961, I think I would have smoked a lot.

You can't see but my fat fat fatty arms are holding up a cup of black coffee to-go. That's right. I'm still fucked up in any generation you put me in. Scary thing is, thinking back, I'm pretty sure my mother (aka Paula Deen) back when she was a slight 87 pounds and a girl of 19 (already married with a baby) definitely looked just like this. Minus the cigarette. She's too wholesome. But she definitely had the anorexia, not by choice, just by... habit(?) I guess? Anyway, I suppose I really am reverting into my mother in some sort of alternate scary universe. I don't want to turn on the Food Network and think that that will be me in 40 years, putting my pinky finger in BBQ sauce and winking.



Speaking of fat arms. Oh what? We weren't talking about that? Well that's what I was thinking about. Recently, I discussed the fact that unknowingly, I programmed my Sim Savory self with 5 traits that gave me the life goal of "perfect mind, perfect body" aka ED in my humble opinion.

This is why I don't talk to things like small children that can be easily imprinted.

So, here's my fat ass little sim. Ok, I know she's not fat, she's as thin as she can get apparently. I'm upset that I can't make her smaller. She doesn't eat anything, and she's quite happy (there's even a feature that makes you less hungry.... uuuuuhhh, ok I'm going to choose not to go there). Anyway, basically I have a distorted image of myself in reality and in virtual reality.

This is sad. But sad in one of those "Oh look, the clown is crying! It's so ironic and funny and sad but really still funny actually because it's ironic."


This must be why I can lose 2 pounds and be positive I had gained at least 4 pounds. I still think the jury is out. Possibly the scale is broken. Didn't weigh today because I ate a plum and then my friend made me eat a veggie sandwich with avacado.

I'm unreasonably afraid of avacado. It's triggering. So I had candy for the first time in a long time after this as well as some juice. Both were not worth it. Didn't really make for a real binge but I'm staying off the scale so me and my fat 1960s chain-smoking and fat-ED-book-reading-sim self can deal with another day of blissful ignorance and thinking about how fat our arms are.

Loathe loathe loathe.


In other news, the blog is going to go through some renovations soon! I'm excited. A friend wants to assist, but I think it's her way of trying to find out what it is I'm writing about, so we'll have to put a lid on that one!

Loving each and every one of you. I'm slap happy. It's late here. I'm staying up to call London. Silly time difference. But it makes me feel closer to all my UK readers ;)



PrettyWreck said...

ok, this is killing your mom really Paula Deen? I can't tell if you're using a symbolic name or if it's actually her, which would be completely nuts, because my step mom is addicted to her show.

Also, we all have a distorted image of ourselves. It's why we're HERE. ♥ And don't let your friend's just a promise of trouble o_o;;

Aspartame Freak said...

And, do you smoke in 2009?

Tree said...

lmao, my virtual character is so flippin skinny I love it

Tri Thin said...

you know that virtual weight loss model you can make? I hate it because it only gets so thin & that just isn't thin enough for me - so I feel your pain

& I too hate my fat arms

Ana's Girl said...

Arms are horrid. They're always too fat, even if it is muscle. Ugh how annoying.

Do NOT let your friend see. I told my one friend about my ED early on in its development, and now every time i see him, he makes me eat like a freaking cow. I wanna scream at him and tell him that that doesn't help; in fact, it makes it worse, but he wouldn't ever listen anyway. So keep your secrets secret.

Stay strong. You're doing well.

swt mzry said...

Lol! I looove your writing style :)
I totally hear that about the arms!! My god-- I have pretty 'built' arms (so they say) since I'm a trainer.. and I HATE IT!! Lol.

I didn't know there was that options in SIMs.. That's soo cool!

And I'd agree wtih Ana's girl and say don't let your friend see your blog.. If it's a ploy to see what you're writing about, all that would come is drama drama drama..

I'll go watch Mad Men now :p

Anonymous said...

Dont let your friend see your blog, its a recipe for disaster. and you must know your way around sims pretty well. i can barely make a house on my own. XD

Flushed said...

I don't have SIM but mine would be totally effed up and have a slew of disorders too! Haha, it's a good thing there is only one of me!

I'm excited to see what your blog will look like!


Chiara said...

Haha I'm glad you have fun with virtual characters. With me, I get really really upset when they are ugly. Sims are SO hard to make look pretty. And it's extremely frustrating when you've spent an hour changing around their face only to give up...

xmarinesxperfectxprincessx said...

HAHAHA Omg. that's so funny. I thought I was the only one on these sites that played sims. that's kewl :)

Dot said...

hahaha! I love your blog ; D You are so witty <3 And your 60s chain smoking avatar is amazing.
I hate my arms too. I feel like they are really non-proportional to the rest of my body....bleh...
I look forward to reading more ; )

Aspartame Freak said...

I think the lack of sleep makes me a better and more productive person.
I love not sleeping, seriously, everything just comes out easier.
Cleaning, exercising, fasting, everything, simplified.
Well, fasting is also easy while sleeping.

Meggy said...

mad men is fabulous.
just make your avatar a stick is you want to :P

good luck hun!

Sarah. said...

Hahahahahaha, i love you heaps :)
Havent played the sims in ages, i get way too addicted and can just sit there with it for hours on end.. So, i had to give it up, haha. Your aviator is pretty damn skinny though, they're usually so much more rounded then she is.

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