Even my avatars are fat...

If you haven't seen Mad Men, get the fuck off blogger and go watch some bootlegged copy right now. I'd mail you my special Zippo Lighter Season 1 DVD but I've just loaned it to some other sad sap who hasn't seen it...

For those of you still with me, today I've made myself into a subordinate 1960s kitchy woman. This was cute and fun until I felt ashamed of her and thought her arms were too fat to be pictured. I was totally honest about the nose though. In 2008, I don't smoke... unless I'm drunk or really melancholy and it's a cigarillo (mmm swisher sweets), but in 1961, I think I would have smoked a lot.

You can't see but my fat fat fatty arms are holding up a cup of black coffee to-go. That's right. I'm still fucked up in any generation you put me in. Scary thing is, thinking back, I'm pretty sure my mother (aka Paula Deen) back when she was a slight 87 pounds and a girl of 19 (already married with a baby) definitely looked just like this. Minus the cigarette. She's too wholesome. But she definitely had the anorexia, not by choice, just by... habit(?) I guess? Anyway, I suppose I really am reverting into my mother in some sort of alternate scary universe. I don't want to turn on the Food Network and think that that will be me in 40 years, putting my pinky finger in BBQ sauce and winking.

Shudder

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Speaking of fat arms. Oh what? We weren't talking about that? Well that's what I was thinking about. Recently, I discussed the fact that unknowingly, I programmed my Sim Savory self with 5 traits that gave me the life goal of "perfect mind, perfect body" aka ED in my humble opinion.

This is why I don't talk to things like small children that can be easily imprinted.

So, here's my fat ass little sim. Ok, I know she's not fat, she's as thin as she can get apparently. I'm upset that I can't make her smaller. She doesn't eat anything, and she's quite happy (there's even a feature that makes you less hungry.... uuuuuhhh, ok I'm going to choose not to go there). Anyway, basically I have a distorted image of myself in reality and in virtual reality.

This is sad. But sad in one of those "Oh look, the clown is crying! It's so ironic and funny and sad but really still funny actually because it's ironic."

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This must be why I can lose 2 pounds and be positive I had gained at least 4 pounds. I still think the jury is out. Possibly the scale is broken. Didn't weigh today because I ate a plum and then my friend made me eat a veggie sandwich with avacado.

I'm unreasonably afraid of avacado. It's triggering. So I had candy for the first time in a long time after this as well as some juice. Both were not worth it. Didn't really make for a real binge but I'm staying off the scale so me and my fat 1960s chain-smoking and fat-ED-book-reading-sim self can deal with another day of blissful ignorance and thinking about how fat our arms are.

Loathe loathe loathe.

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In other news, the blog is going to go through some renovations soon! I'm excited. A friend wants to assist, but I think it's her way of trying to find out what it is I'm writing about, so we'll have to put a lid on that one!

Loving each and every one of you. I'm slap happy. It's late here. I'm staying up to call London. Silly time difference. But it makes me feel closer to all my UK readers ;)

cheers,
SaVOrrRRrry!