I'm pretty sure I thought something in my head, and then it came true.
So, I had a pretty good weekend...
- TR and I worked out some relationship things (though we had a major argument today, but it was resolved: BTW I'm starting a new thing called "don't fucking talk about my relationship with people anymore because it makes you look crazy and unstable and a bad girlfriend" ... except this doesn't apply to you all, because you, dear readers need to know everything, so help me stick to it!!).
- I lost 2 more pounds since Friday, even though I've been eating terribly.
- Apparently my grad school wants to throw £5,000 pounds at me ($8,460) so, that's good news? lol. I'm not used to good things.
Except today has been shitty. So I'm on the train back home, and I'm reading my London travel guide (dork dork dork!), reading the little history bit. It comes to the "Great Plague" that kills 100,000 Londoners in the 1600s... and me being in the bad mood and a big fat bitch start thinking:
"Wouldn't it be lovely if some kind of pandemic happened that affected most of the people on this train, and in the area... people dropping like flies around me? Of course, *me* being blessed with so much mental and physical shit by God, Satan, Fate, or Darwin would be pardoned from getting sick.
"I would just be one of those people who would have to stand by idly watching everyone die, and blog about it. Writing history. Women and children would take me in as I wander the streets with my laptop and try to feed me broth, but I would tell them that I couldn't eat when I knew that there was so much suffering. And no one would bat an eye, or ask me 'Is that all you're going to eat?' (PS. fuck you waitress at Denny's)."
Yeah, that was my 30 second fantasy, on the train, fleeting and brief and totally fucked up. I know. But that's just me. I also flirted with the idea of jumping in front of the train like an hour before that, then I told myself that I couldn't because I didn't want the 4 year old on the platform to have to witness and deal with that kind of shit forever.
So really, try and spend a night in this head of mine. I like to think that the soundtrack inside my head is like ladies playing saws with violin bows, and crying blood. They're probably underwater and there are marionettes dancing and fish swimming in circles.
But the point of this story is I call my mother to tell her I'm on the train, and what does she tell me? Uh, my oldest sister has some kind of superbug, like Outbreak type thing that we thought was a bug bite that paralyzed her whole head after 24h and she had to be rushed to some specialized hospital. She had surgery and has a fucking hole in her head now with shit sticking in and out of it and it's been described to me as "half of Princess Leia's head." They don't know what's maybe or maybe not killing her. She's in an isolation clean room and you have to wear like an astronaut hazmat suit to go inside....
Basically it's an episode of House without the predictable plot and zanny cast of characters.
Oh, and this morning the same thing happened to her son, so it's apparently contagious and maybe it's a pandemic! They have to swab like everywhere and everyone she's contacted. I'm so fucking psychic.
Don't feel sorry for my sister though or for my family. My older sister is a horrible person. I don't need to get into details because it's long, confusing, and complicated. I'll just give you tag words so you understand and you don't think I'm a total bitch for being a wizard and giving her ebola or something: drugs, prostitution, child neglect, crazy, child abuse, drugs, crazy again, and she hates my whole family.
Uh, so yeah. I'm magical. Ask me to think of something you want to come true. I'm trying to think that loads of kittens get adopted or something to even out my karma, but if you think of something better let me know... my mind is pretty uh twisted. It keeps going back to ripping the heads off build-a-bears!
P.S. But the loss of 2 pounds must mean that Jesus still loves me, yes?