Monday, August 3, 2009

Me Touting More Non-Science

OK. I think I have more proof that me not eating is good for me.

For the first time in probably ALL my life, I haven't gotten the flossing, plaque, or tut-tut lectures at the dentist office at my 6-month cleaning.

What's happened? I should be so proud of myself for taking such good care of my teeth, they think. My parents brought me up right.

Bullshit. This bitch is still the lazy bastard who gags when she flosses (but still can't manage to purge, hence hasn't ruined her mouth) and therefore skips it, and only brushes in the morning because frankly, she can't remember to keep up a nightly regime.

So what has got to be the difference? Why is my dentist so happy with me? Probably because I drink a shitload of water, basically zero sugar enters my mouth (my mother always told me that fruit snacks would ruin my teeth), and I stay away from food when I can.

If I don't eat, but I drink water, and brush my teeth.... wouldn't I naturally be better off than someone who eats more??

Don't contradict me. I don't want to hear it. I'm super happy that I left the dentist with a smile on my face, and a mouth full of no-pain.

Take THAT FDA, ADA, and whatever other big acronyms I should be shouting at for telling me how to live.




Aspartame Freak said...


Flushed said...

True, true. I'm liking your logic!


PrettyWreck said...

My grandpa told me once, "Don't confuse my reality with your truths. I like my world just like it is, thank you."

You just reminded me of that XD

I &heart; you so hard right now

Anonymous said...

Oh Savory you're so right! Not eating is the best thing you can do for your teeth. =D

The Prince of Wince said...

Please don't confuse chokingly self-indulgent japery with teenage poetry- it does whatever you wrote a disservice!

You're witnessing the last days of the Prince Of Wince.

Skinny Lady said...

Sounds like pretty good science to me. Do you watch Obsessed on A&E? A couple of weeks ago a woman was featured who was obsessed with her teeth, so obsessed that anorexia was a side effect because she was too scared to eat. It seemed like the perfect form of OCD to me.

what if summer... said...

As Calvin of the Calvin and Hobbes comics once said, "It's not denial; I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept."

Kudos for evading the dentist lectures. I hate those...

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