Thursday, April 2, 2009

Forbidden Fridays

God I'm such a failure at life.

I can't go into details here... it's not safe, but I seriously need to see that fucking therapist soon. She's got to fix me.

Though I've come to the conclusion that all therapy is quack.

Put myself back on Wellbutrin and Topamax to try and kill cravings. I'm not hoping for anything else. Though after last night's shitty horrible migraine, being on Topamax might be a necessity again.


So, I'm going to try out a new strategy. What if I allow myself one "cheat day" ? Whenever I hear about other people doing this, I roll my eyes and think about how weak they are. But girls, wait for my rationalization before you think the same thing about me.

If I tell myself that every, say, Friday, I can eat whatever the fuck I want... Doesn't have to be Vegan, or healthy, or Vegetarian (though I don't think I can ever eat meat again), or any calorie limit... perhaps it will quell any binges I might have during the week because I'll know that nothing is forbidden, I just need to have the willpower to wait.

Then when Friday rolls around I'll be so ecstatic with the pounds I've lost I won't even want to touch all that shitty terrible food. And if I do, we all know I can't even reach 2,000 calories even if I try.

IDK, I'm so fed up with my fat self and I'm SO over the 120s. Hah.

So new plan going into action starting now. But this Friday doesn't count because I've already binged this week. So, next Friday!


Thanks for reading lovelies. You and your blogs keep me moderately sane :)


Anonymous said...

That idea actually sounds real good. I'm sorry that you're not happy. I used to think that the Therapist would fix me but sadly, all the ones I've ever been to haven't helped one bit. The anti-depressants that I usually take have done their bit and I guess I'm just un-fixable. Sadly, I keep forgetting to take take my pills and I end up sitting in my room skipping my classes and crying all day about my lack of self control.

Maybe I need to go back to my shrink...

Anyways, this is about you not me.

Your Friday idea sounds good to the fatty side of my brain. I need to get over eating before I allow myself ANYTHING.


Anonymous said...

Oh and one more question. Does Topomax work real well for migraines? I've been thinking about going on a medication for those and switching to a different anti-depressant. I'm on prozac at the moment and it makes my headaches even worse.

Laura said...

The basis for your decision to include a cheat day in your plan seems sound. Please let me know how it ends up working out for you, If you see good results, maybe I will try it myself.

Ah, Topamax. My doctor prescribed that to me two years ago for migraines, but the dose that he recommended stopped working and he didn't seem to want to prescribe a higher one. This led me to abuse the fuck out of them in order to experience the almost high-like confused stupor it led to, rather than the migraine I would have had. Good story, I know. Haha not really. But anyway I hope everything works out for you!

Jenna said...

I definitely think this "Forbidden Friday" idea is a good one. I'm actually thinking of adopting this myself (once I'm down to a reasonably acceptable weight). And it may even boost your metabolism.

And by the way, you're amazing. I look up to you!

(And I'm praying that Shrinkiepoo puts me on Topamax but I think he's too smart for that. Dammit.)

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