Friday, April 24, 2009


I love/hate watching people eat. Walking across campus at uni, or downtown, I'll see people sitting at tables or eating a sandwich (probably the most unflattering thing to eat in public) while trying to get to class... do they realize how disgusting they look? It's horrid. *When* I allow myself food, I like to think of it as a highly choreographed art-form.

Sit. Stare.
Daintily hold fork and knife.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
Skewer (never, ever stab) teeny-tiny morsel onto utensil.
Allow into mouth and chew ever so slowly.
Set down utensils delicately, perfectly. Ready for the next bite.

Sip water, seductively, feeling superior. In control.

Repeat cycle.


I'm sitting in class right now. We're discussing scurvy and our presenters thought it would be clever to bring in orange cupcakes (I have gotten so good at swiftly passing along plates of food without even blinking). The girl next to me is smacking her gums and licking her fingers SOO loudly.

Bitch, you are gross. EW, she just wiped her fingers all over her pants. This is why food and people eating in public is something I love/hate.

It reminds me that I never never want to look like that.


Today, I continue to drink my tea out and about, knowing that if people are judging me, it's because they are jealous that my size 4 skinny jeans are too big. Suck it.


Mortician Rachel said...

I am so envious of how well you're doing! I can't wait to be a size 4 :(
I hate watching people eat in public too, especially while walking. It's gross.
And ewwwww I hate listening to people chew too. Smack, slurp, nom nom, it's so gross.

Twilight said...

I esp. hate watching people eat french fries!! They grab ahold of 6 or 7 at one time and clench them together like a bouquet. Then their mouth opens and their platapus lips suction cup around them right before they are inhaled. *shudder*

Oiseau said...

"Bitch, you are gross."

Lmfao. I love that. Hilarious!

Gotta run though. No time for long comments today!!


Lulu said...

haha. You own your baggy size fours girlfriend! i looooove watching other people eat as a reminder of why i shouldnt be. Everybody needs a fat friend for exactly this reason! and a skinny one so that they can be reminded of the same thing in reverse!

Tri Thin said...

I'm so jealous of your baggy size 4s! Can't wait until I get there - guess I need to exercise a little more control so I'm not that fat bitch sucking down the cupcake.

& why does everyone think bringing food in to share is such a good idea? I mean have you every thought about how gross most people are? Someone licked the spoon while they were baking & you know they were licking their fingers when icing the cupcakes - ick...I can't stand to eay other people's cooking unless I witness the process and approve it's cleanliness!

belle svelte said...

hey you! thanks for the congrats...but I wish I was excited. I am not really all that piped up going back to my old's a cool place, but nothing new. Nothing exciting. Same old, same old. My year at home has been a total waste if you ask me. Anyway. If only to drink my sorrows, I would go with you to the City (since I live in CA as well, what City are YOU referring too?) and induldge myself...

alas, I didn't. Anyway, I will dedicate the next post to the inner workings of the mental prison (panoptican). I am currently pulling out all my old management notes (good thing too, I need to dust out all my folders and start prepping) yea. There's more of that.

anyway, I don't like eating out anymore and I don't like eating in public....watching people eat turns me offf....ugh. Actually, the same goes for clothing. If I am at a store, and God forbid I see a cute shirt...and then see a fat person examining said cute shirt in the dressing room...then I leave the store. I just leave. I refuse to go to Old Navy for that reason. It's so...I don't know. I just don't eat for the rest of the day because I am always thinking that I look like that fat girl trying on that cute shirt...and I don't want to be that girl who turns off someone else...UGH.


Daisy said...

thattagirl. You are way stronger than those hungry hungry hippos. The thought up cupcake girl is making me sick..blah

PrettyWreck said...

Once again, I think I love you. I love how you describe eating, and the way you observe it. I should start doing this. I would love to see myself as more "cultured", and I think that how you eat says a lot about you.

EvaPuedeVolar said...

My boyfriend has told me that I'm a dainty eater. Pretty much the most amazing compliment ever!

I consider myself to be an exceptionally nice person. And I really don't like to talk about other people's weight in a negative way because I think we all have a right to feel beautiful no matter what size we are.

BUT... alas.. I can't help myself sometimes. When I see people eating something horrible, I'm secretly thinking "That icecream is why your stomach is sticking out like that." I do this all the time with my roommate who I don't like and who is always complaining about how hard it is for her to lose weight like there's something different about her body, but I see her eating so much crap all the time and it makes me so mad! Every time she eats (all the time) I'm thinking the meanest things and it doesn't even shame me. Seeing her eat is so helpful to me. Definitely makes me not want to eat. She's totally a smacker too. Gross.

Read through some of your old posts that I've been missing. Congratulations on being so close to your goal weight! It really must feel awesome.

Also. Avocados. Why do you hate them? They are like a super food in terms of vitamins and nutrients. They have like 20 vitamins and minerals, 60% more potassium than bananas, very low sodium and sugar content, no starch, lots of fiber. They have fat, yeah, but it's the good-for-you healthy kind of fat that your body is able to process. It's not like cheeseburger and french fries kind of fat. Seriously. Eat more avocados.

Sorry for ranting. But I really like avocados. And I hate that they've been given such a bad reputation.

Long comment. I just can't shut up today.
Lurve you!

<3 Eva

SophiaRuins said...

omg LOL
the way you described that girl.. is HORRIBLE!
i feel the same way its like 'dont you people care what you look like?' and then i wonder if everyone else notices it or if its just me lol
and i tried the nutmeg!
even though you advised against it D=
i just couldnt go on not knowing and it was actually really great =o

youre a great writer btw, i love the eating choreography description.

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

Skinny Lady said...

I'm thinking that last line would make for a great t-shirt slogan...

"You're just jealous because my size 4 skinny jeans are too big. Suck it."

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