Friday, April 3, 2009

Water Fasting - Day 2

I am SO sick of food. Get away from me. Ugh.

Go now and look at [Sophia Ruins] blog. Now now, hurry! If that doesn't make you want to put down the cake, and even the celery sticks and start a water fast, I don't know what will.

Water fasting. Cleansing the temple that is my body.

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Got back from my therapy appointment, yesterday. I haven't seen a psychologist since last August aside from my semi-regular appointments with my shrink, so I forgot all the little nuances. Like the fact that she wanted to blame everything on my childhood.

In their defense, if I told you everything that's happened to me (and I forgot to tell her some important details) in 30 minutes, you'd think that was the root of all my problems too. I don't know why they expect you to hash out all those details in such a short time without it looking like everyone's a fucked up mess, and a sociopath... since I've told it so many times I can be rather deadpan about the whole thing now. lol

I never do well in therapy... somehow, I always end up in my head talking to myself hoping that I haven't just rolled my eyes at said therapist. She's totally decided that my binging is a symptom of some larger problem and that it will resolve itself once we tackle the anxiety. Fuck that. Fix my binging bitch!

Sigh. She kind of likes to infantile me. Using words like "Big Savory needs to comfort Little Savory." (She believes in the "inner child") Worse. She said that I need to conquer my anxieties or... wait for it... Idea monsters. Ok ok ok. I can deal with the fact that she's literate and knows her stuff, but stop calling everything by stupid names.

So now I have to tell my Idea Monsters to go away every time they pop into my head. I think this includes urges to binge? If it doesn't, I'm going to pretend it does. I'm giving her one more chance on Monday when we're supposed to do the hypnosis business, and if there's not a miracle, then, I'll just have to die a bloated pig who can't stop binging apparently.

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But because I can't trust her to help me, it's water fasting all the way! This time I'm in the mindset. I've got my handy empty Sobe Lean bottle ready to fill and re-fill. I'm sick of food, and I'm sick of fat.

Already down 3 pounds since yesterday (most of it weight that's FINALLY come off from the sad binges of previous days, so I'm at equilibrium again). So ready to hold my head high and refuse food.

Cheers,
Savory

5 comments:

TINYNINJA said...

good luck love :)
god I think I'd hit your therapist if I had to put up with that o.O
it would drive me nuts
hehe... random... therapist = the rapist... subliminal message maybe?

anywho, I believe you can do it :)
trust yourself - if you feel like binging, walk away and remind yourself that you're not hungry
fill yourself up with water or diet soda, that usually gets rid of my urge to binge
and if you do happen to binge, just exercise like a maniac to make up for it haha

good luck :)
xxx

belle svelte said...

good therapists are amazing. condescending, belittling therapists are not. binges happen in life, and I think we all need to understand the feeling we get when we binge...before during and after. it's not enough to say it's not worth it, experiencing it enough will in-and-of-itself become a deterrent. until then, good luck with the fast!!

bSve

Mel said...

Your therapist sounds idiotic. Yay for water fasts, you've inspired me and I'm going to try to continue until Tuesday morning, maybe even longer if I can handle it : )

Loves.

Jenna said...

Little Savory? Idea monsters?

Even though I am in pursuit of one, I must say that sometimes psychology degrees are absolute bullshit.

button said...

There has got to be better therapists out there... I agree with belle svelte that therapy has potential...
maybe its time to ask for a referral from someone else?
-bb

 
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