Monday, March 23, 2009

Bad news, bears!

Down another pound! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to switch some dates on Kat's plan because my mom wants to do Indian tonight so that's going to be 600 calories today. At least it's all Vegan!

Uh oh... Confrontation.

The Boy: Hey I just wanted to say a few things. Ok, so I don't care if you want to unhealthily lose weight but please know that I always love your body so please don't be shy about it around me.

Me: I'm not. I was just feeling bad about you leaving.

Him: I see.

Me: And I'm just depressed. Hopefully the Wellbutrin will help.

Him: Also do whatever you want to lose weight but please please don't end up in the hospital again. I really love you and don't want any harm coming to you. I want to feel like I can let you watch out for yourself, ok? So if you promise to watch out for yourself then I wont intercede, ok?

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I mean eating less than a thousand calories a day for a long time is bad... I don't want you to end up like those skinny chicks on that program you watch
or worse in a hospital and then the psych ward again.

Me: I won't.

Him: Ok. I just want to be able to spend as much time with you as possible.

Me: Uh ok.

Him: Well, I don't want you to get super skinny like on the show and they are like, "You will die from being too weak if you keep eating this way."

Me: It's fine. Why are you all concerned all of a sudden?

Him: Well you just seem to keep extending your fasts. And you said you felt gross looking.

Me: Well I was just depressed.

Him: Ok.

Damn Youtube. I started watching Supersize vs. Superskinny (UK Channel 4), which is thinspo AND reverse thinspo rolled into one. There's also repulsive food all over it! Introduced it to my mom last night and it's thinspo for her too!! yay. But apparently it's triggering for the boy.

Well, now it's time to be less open and sharing with him. I guess I have to hide my fasting because I don't want to worry him... and he's totally not above calling the cops or my psychiatrist on me. Pretty sure he's the kind of guy who'll grow up and turn into a staunchy Republican douche. But I love him anyhow.

***Tip Share 2009 of the day: Meat Substitutes!!! I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist, so, I'm pretty obsessed with soy meat that normal people would probably be repulsed by. It's higher in calories than normal meat, but it's a good way to get your protein when you get sick of beans and tofu. Most of these require no refrigeration, but watch out for some of the sodium contents. My mother, of course, loves to bread and fry hers, making it super unhealthy but wonderfully tasty. You can find Morningstar Farms, Boca, and Gardenburger in your local grocery store, but I think that Worthington, and Loma Linda are making some great products. *jumps off soap box*



Anonymous said...

I love meat substitutes! Have you tried soy curls? They are awesome. It's nice of your bf to be worried but you seem like a smart girl, you know what you are doing.

Ana said...

Soy products scare me a bit. So do boy-confrontations. That's not so bad, though. It seems like he's being pretty least in the sense that he's not suffocating you over the matter.

Tree said...

heh, my friend Dee & I have been watching that show for awhile now. It kinda sucks that some of the shows don't have the full episodes. But, to watch the skinny girls eat a 300lb man meal in front of them is crazy. I always feel bad for those girls :(

Reese said...

I want to watch that show! That's sweet that he's concerned but I agree with RayRay.

Pree said...

Hey Savory, thanks for your comment on my blog :)
To answer your Excel Q, I track my morning weight (both in kgs & lbs), my BMI, calories consumed and how long I have to reach certain targets. There are running totals of how much weight I've lost/gained, how many days in the week I fast, binge, restrict etc. as well as a graph where I can see if I'm on track or not. It's all a bit messy, but it keeps me occupied!

Let me know if you'd like any more info. Always a pleasure to meet someone as smart as you - wishing you lots of luck always...

Pree X

EvaPuedeVolar said...

Hey Savory!

Unfortunately I can't bring myself to enjoy most tofu or soy products. I do love veggie burgers and it's so easy to add yummy spices to make them not so bland.

I'm sorry about the confrontation with the boy. I know that must be stressful. I've often been tempted to just tell my boyfriend about my fasts, but it seems like it could end up causing too many problems.

Good luck and stay strong!
<3 Eva

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