Sunday, March 1, 2009

Can't get time alone...

I hate that every time I turn around, it seems like someone is trying to shove food down my throat. I'm visiting my mother, and of course, she keeps trying to feed me and double my portions. I'm running out of excuses for why I'm not eating it.

I go out and my friends want to drink. Or get lunch.

When I get back home, my boyfriend, who is obsessed with food will just want to pig out. God. I'm just so tired of food. I just want it away from me. I don't even want food until I start eating, then I just feel like what's the point and my goal of like 200 calories turns into eating like 1200.

Yesterday: potato salad (238), tapioca x6... I seriously binged (666. Yeah I deserve that), rum and diet coke... tasted like shit but at least it was one productive thing (65).
total --> (969)

Today: potato salad 1/2 (119), 1/2 single pizza (502).
total --> (621)

I think I'm going over to my friend's and she's going to force feed me a bloody mary. Who drinks those past like noon. So I might have to add like another (150). UGH.

Sad day. I used to live by myself in a lovely studio where I was so lonely but I wasted the days away, a starving artist. So productive.

If I go abroad next year, I'll be so thin and miserable and inspired :)


A Waste Of Kate said...

You're 22 years old. You're an adult. You can can eat whatever you want, as well as refuse whatever food you don't want. If you say you're not hungry, then they should respect it & if they don't then you just have to tell them that.

design by