Thursday, March 19, 2009

What nourishes me, destroys me

My body hates me, my mind is against me, and I hate everything about me.

It's all or nothing. Time to be strict, no moderation, no cheating, nothing. There is no reward in 5 seconds, or 5 minutes, or 5 hours of binging. No satisfaction. So, I can't even have those 5 seconds because I know that: A) I won't stop B) It's futile.

Food is my weakness, and my weakness shows on my fatty flabby body. Any food that has no purpose, only pleasure, will no longer be consumed. My body is a temple, and I need to fucking treat it like one. No more ranch dressing, no more Milky Ways, no more fried *anything*.

I can do better. I can be more perfect. I will show everyone that I am better and stronger and more motivated than they are. And it starts with saying "No" to food.

It's time to be serious, to see my bones, to show myself how delicate and fragile I can look, while still having stronger willpower than anyone I know. I will look at my friends, gorging themselves on pizza and burritos and candy, and think how much better I am.

No longer will I have cravings for food. I will ignore any signal my brain sends me to try to throw me off course. It is my biggest adversary. When I say "no" to my cravings, to food, I am accepting thinness in my life. I have the strength to refuse food, to refuse sweets, to refuse crap that's probably killing me anyway.

Quod me nutrit, me destruit


Ophelia said...

Powerful post, keep that power, love it x

Ana said...

I totally admire your determination :) Stay strong, you can resist those terrible empty calories!

Tree said...

I really enjoy reading your blogs. Thanks for letting all of us ladies do so :)

dancing in the shadows said...

Your posts are always so motivational~ Stay strong!!

SophiaRuins said...

you can do it!
i completely admire your strength.
i know you can get there hun, youre so very close.

XOXO Sophia Ruins <3

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